Woman, Man’s Most Valuable Resource (Revised)
On day 28 of 2007, those of you who struggled to get up and show up today deserve yet another standing ovation because you’ve pushed through the pain for another week. The software upgrade I attempted to do failed miserably. While many of you were sound asleep, I spent all night sitting at my desk recreating the previously posted messages I pecked out. Technology happens. Life happens. Adversity always seems to strike when we least expect it. So do miracles. I believe that meeting and marrying the woman I refer to as “my most valuable resource” was an unexpected miracle.
On May 24, 2000, I literally sat in awe the first time I affixed my eyes on the beautiful woman, sitting in a Borders Bookstore, who would later become my most valuable resource on April 14, 2001. I can still vividly recall the “slappy-happy” feeling of astonishment my stunned, stupefied, and speechless soul felt the first time my eyes saw the woman God “gifted” to a great man like me with great flaws like mine. Despite how my fiancee’ might have felt after Adversity knocked down the door to my heart without a warrant and falsely arrested the pursuit of my happiness when no exigent circumstances justified doing so, my “Dream Come True” stayed with me and prayed with me during my dark night of the soul.
Following an extended season of dealing with unduly burdensome circumstances beyond our reasonable control, my wife and I have decided to tough it out. On April 14, 2007, my most valuable resource and I will celebrate our 6-year wedding anniversary. Was it easy? No. Painful? Yes. Challenging would be an understatement, but my wife and I recently agreed to keep choosing the nails and doing what I hear so many married couples refusing to do, bearing the combined weight of their crosses. It would be a bold-faced lie to say that my most valuable resource and I have never hurt each other’s feelings, stepped on each other’s toes, and deeply disappointed each other while struggling to learn how to love each other unconditionally.
Nevertheless, as the head of our emerging home, I have chosen to become man enough to keep taking the hits, which is what it means to be the head of anything. That’s what real men do. I have, therefore, chosen the nails I would have rejected before I became a man. Only a man will choose to keep getting up, showing up, and pushing past the pain of the personalized cross my soul must bear until I can gift my most valuable resource with a love that’s worth giving and receiving. In my secret place on bended knee, I thank God everyday during our quiet talks that it’s not illegal for my Queen to be so intelligent and beautiful.
Both my wife, Kwiz, and our precocious baby girl have truly been a blessing to a man with big dreams who’s still struggling to overcome my many great weaknesses one step and one day at a time. If I told you how many degrees my life partner has already earned, you wouldn’t believe me. So I won’t. As a strong-willed manchild, I became extremely adept at always having to learn what Adversity taught my inept soul the hard way after my college education got abruptly interrupted. It appears to my wife and I that our 2 1/2 year old daughter has inherited the same great weakness I struggle to turn into one of my most valuable assets.
After dropping out of college, I sought the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding I still desired elsewhere since I wasn’t as prepared to jump through the hoops of higher learning as I thought. Not one to sit around having a lonely pity party, I joined the U. S. Air Force to resume my college education in Sacramento, California, only to become disappointed that, in 1977, the G.I. Bill stopped covering the cost of a college education. Nevertheless, the extremely high level of technical and management training I received over the next 11 years surpassed my wildest expectations. I, therefore, don’t regret my reluctant decision to curtail my pursuit of a traditional education.
Although disillusioned by the fundamentally unfair treatment received, I’m glad I fought to free my emerging mind from the spiritual oppression still trying to kill, steal, and destroy the God-given ability to be a great person, dream big dreams, and achieve great things. Little did I know how my decision to rise about the oppressive rim of mediocrity and self-educate myself would impact my life almost 23 years later when I met my wife in Buckhead, Georgia.
Had I not been sitting in that particular Borders Book Store reading a thick stack of books and doing what had become a fundamental habit for me, I may have never met the extremely intelligent, articulate woman who birthed our beautiful pearl of a girl. Had I not been able to approach this highly educated woman with the ability to articulate the business plan I devised for the rest of my life, she would have exercised her free will to kick me to the curb. Something as insignificant as a library card and a dictionary opened the door for a man who dropped out of college to meet the Queen I still call my “Dream Come True.”
Only God knows why He gifted my soul with a woman so beautiful and intelligent that it should be against the laws of nature for such a human being to exist. I’m constantly challenged and inspired by the woman that an all-knowing God graciously allowed to matriculate to the level of intellectual acuity she has both gained and maintained after many arduous years of scholarly study thus far. Before I close, please humor me for a moment to explain the significance of the italicized words in the previous chapter.
My mind sat up in the seat of my soul and paid attention the day I heard the words, “intellectual acuity,” as articulated as only Dr. Michael Eric Dyson could during his daily, syndicated talk show, The Michael Eric Dyson Show. It tickles me every time Dr. Dyson rings the bell signaling to all willing to listen to this jovial professor that his class is now in session. I deeply appreciate every thought-provoking lesson he proffers and truly enjoy the ecclesiastical, albeit comical style, of the critically thinking one.
Speaking in a manner that reminded me of my highly intelligent wife, Dr. Dyson articulated three syllable words with such amazing ease while I participated in his open classroom from afar. I remain hopeful that many more great women and men will begin to publicly emulate his empathy for the poor people rich people hated or despised for all the wrong reasons. Dr. Dyson’s continued success only confirms my honest belief that
“a wise woman is still a wise man’s most valuable resource.”
Since I didn’t hear any objections from Dr. Dyson, it’s safe to assume that he also agrees with me. If you don’t, please “holla back” whenever Mrs. Dyson isn’t around if time permits.
I also had to remind myself that getting up and showing up daily was the original goal until doing so became a habit. Only God knows what will get birthed out of the discipline of writing these daily posts even when it hurts. Since I’m in the process of conquering my perfectionistic tendencies, some of the daily posts you’re reading are therapeutic “quick writes” in the process of becoming refined, polished, and published pieces. Mistakes, may abound until I can finish the editing process and conquer some of my deepest fears. God willing, this too shall pass.
The meticulous process of composing a book is much different for me than writing something from scratch. Intimidating? Most definitely. As an emerging writer, getting up, showing up, and pushing past the pain of staring at a blank computer screen until I can finish writing something worth reading is not as easy as one would think, especially for me. Perfectionism is just one of the many remaining bad habits I’m still struggling to replace with many good habits. Hopefully, you’re also beginning to replace some of your bad habits with new habits. Yes, it’s a difficult process but nobody expected it to be easy.
© Copyright 2007 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
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1 comment January 28th, 2007
