Connecting All The Dots
On day 31 of 2007, take some time to introspectively, objectively, and honestly ask yourself what have you learned about yourself since the beginning of our walk together as we work together for the good of all we contact and impact on a daily basis? Today marks the close of our first full month of walking together in peace and working together as one for the good of humanity’s culturally diverse global village. We may not have agreed with each other all the time but it’s okay to agree to disagree. If we had always agreed with each other every step of the way about everything we’ve discussed, somebody’s not being very honest.
Hopefully, our galvanized group of great men, women, and children have grown to love each other enough to tell each other the truth instead of letting the emperor believe he’s wearing clothes. Besides, don’t you think that it’s healthier to have a good debate every now and then than it is to betray each other with the violence of our silence about the real issues that matter most to our blended, extended family of great people with great weaknesses like ours? Think about it.
Reading the book, HE-MOTIONS, by Bishop T.D. Jakes, Pastor of the Potter’s House in Dallas, Texas, is a must read for men whether or not you have ever personally experienced the “silent scream of your own soul,” a scream that’s been “gagged by overworking,” “muffled with alcohol, drugs, or sex,” or “drowned out by the applause of others.” As so courageously stated in the aforementioned book,
“I experienced a powerful depression a few years ago. I would come home after church and sit in the dark and weep. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying. I had lost my joy. I realized that I didn’t know who I was apart from the roles I fulfilled: husband, father, son, brother, pastor, bishop, businessman, employer, on and on. But who was I?”
It’s been extremely challenging, rewarding, and humbling thus far for an ex-perfectionist to keep publishing a less than perfect literary work for complete strangers to read or ignore if they so desire. There’s no time to clean up the cluttered mess that the creative process required of me to write something from scratch that will eventually be worth sharing, worth buying, and worth reading. Some days are “sunny-side-up days” while others are “sunny-side-down days.” As stated previously, struggling to write these unrefined, unpolished messages on a daily basis isn’t like writing an edited, polished, and refined book ready for publication.
Weeping did indeed endure but for a night until joy finally came in the morning. I, therefore, am willing to keep trying to the best of my ability to do the very thing one too many women contend the men they love don’t do very well. Communicate. Is this easy for me to do? Not at all, But I’m willing to take the risks required to do something uncomfortable if it will challenge other men who also know they need to grow up in order to become a better man, a better husband, a better father, a better friend, a better person. Easy? No. But I never expected it to be, nor did anybody promise that personal growth would be a painless process.
Getting up and showing up on day 1 of 2007 is indicative of the fact that many of you are finally ready to face your biggest fears and embrace Change. Hopefully, you’ll see the love permeating each message before you see the plethora of mistakes I’ve made while experimenting with different writing techniques. God willing, I’ll revisit each message to polish and refine them for inclusion in what may be the humble beginnings of yet another book that’s worth reading. It only takes one right combination of words out of the many failed messages I’ve tried thus far to birth a big dream. For reasons now known, I’m choosing to exercise my free will to keep getting up, showing up, and walking by faith, not by sight, until God reveals the reasons why I’m doing this right now. Hopefully, we’ve all learned this month that
“a faith that cannot be tested is a faith that cannot be trusted.”
God willing, we’ll continue to close out each month of our revealing journey by connecting all the dots that, upon first glance, appear randomly spread out during each month of what I’ve declared as an unpredictable “year of firsts.” Although you may not see it yet, there’s a method to this madness. I’ve never been afraid to step outside the boxes somebody else drew or to risk trying to do something that’s never been tried before even if it made me look bad initially. Hence, I’ve failed more than I’ve succeeded. So please be patient with this emerging “works in progress.”
The tried, tested, but failed, traditions of the status quo will get replaced by creative, innovative trends that will replace some self-destructive behaviors that are now threatening the very lives of the teenaged girls who aspire to make it big in the image making industry. Fashion model, female activist, television executive, and talk show host, Ms. Tyra Banks, of the Tyra Banks Show, has been unfairly vilified due to published photographs that reveal her recent weight gain. When one objectively considers the unhealthy, life-threatening side-effects of “anorexia nervosa” or “bulimia,” packing on a few extra pounds pales in comparison to what the modeling industry demands of their “next top models.” As a sign of respect, let’s tip our hats and applaud this curvaceous modeling icon for courageously leading the way in an industry that is long overdue for an image overhaul by standing up and speaking truth to power in love. Does anybody out there know why some many people enjoy finding faults with others as though there’s a million dollar reward for doing so?
The one thing I personally promised myself not to do in 2007 was to harm any of you with the words from my mouth. Do you agree that nothing damages another person’s psyche more than the verbal abuse of an unbridled tongue that leaves no visible signs of physical abuse like a clenched first or an open handed slap in the face by an angry, disingenuous person who claims to love you? How many of you remember saying or hearing the words, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”? How many of you realized that this innocuous, popularized phrase is a perfect illustration of what I refer to as a “true lie.” A true lie is a lie that you hear one too many powerful people, publicized pundits, and popular peers passionately stand up and say often enough that you begin to believe it’s true.
There’s an absolutely beautiful Gospel song, “I Need You To Survive,” as performed on the Family Affair Volume II album by Pastor Hezekiah Walker. The chorus is,
“I pray for you, you pray for me. I love you. I need you to survive. I won’t harm you with words from my mouth. I love you. I need you to survive.”
If I’ve completely messed up the soul stirring lyrics to Mr. Walker’s song, please correct me. Please don’t let me keep running around butt naked thinking that I’ve got a suit on that looks as nice as the ones worn by the dapper men adorning the pages of popular fashion magazines.
If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired of giving and receiving a love that wasn’t worth paying much attention to last year, please don’t give up before we cross the finish together on day 31 of December. Digging deeper inside the cluttered place where secrets hide than you ever have before takes courage. How many of you gritted your teeth, cried a few tears, dug your feet deep into the trenches, and started pushing past the pain you felt as you began to unearth the truth you side stepped in 2006 for too long and for all the wrong reasons? Struggling to keep pushing past the pain hurt more than expected. But doing so has given you the inner strength of character needed to keep climbing higher than you thought possible.
The outward physical manifestations of the miraculous life-changing metamorphosis that began deep inside the seat of our gifted souls will vary in unforeseen, unpredictable ways from one person to the next. So please don’t compare yourself to any of our teammates. The rewards for digging deeper and doing what wasn’t pleasant, or popular with our co-dependent peers, for any of us has finally started to pay off in ways you never expected when you got up and showed up to take your first step towards achieving great things as we help each other make our dreams come true. Developing the discipline required to make it this far has given you a plethora of good reasons to keep replacing bad habits with good habits that will enable you to excel and succeed despite the overwhelming odds against you are facing right now. If you don’t remember anything else we’ve discussed during the first month of 2007, please don’t forget that
“impossible is still nothing to the One sitting high, but looking low.”
I’m not offering any quick fix remedies that will only last until Adversity strikes again, just an opportunity for our galvanized group to believe that we can all achieve great things as we continue to trust God absent any reservations until we can help each other make our biggest dreams come true. Before I close out this month of unexpected twists and turns, how many of you realized that something else a Pimp, a Prostitute, and a Preacher had in common was the less than obvious, undisclosed fact that each of these characters were all metaphors chosen by me to illustrate the power of choices. Surprised? Part II of Pimps, Prostitutes, and Preachers, a message originally posted on day 3 of 2007, will be explored and developed further during Black History Month.
For reasons now know, I’ve learned to respect the power of the pen, the written word, and the mental word pictures carefully crafted sentences and the unique combination of juxtaposed words can create in the minds of my readers. No wonder with much power comes much responsibility. Can it be that our fear of the responsibility lasting success demands is the main reason why more people still appear to fear Success more than they do Failure? Think about it. Gotta go. My most valuable resource is calling me. May the peace of God be with each of you until we meet again.
© Copyright 2007 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
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