When Least Expected™

A Heart-To-Heart Talk

February 2nd, 2007 at 11:21pm Manchild

On day 33 of 2007, I’m dusting off a poetic piece composed back in 1993 while writing poetry to feed myself. Feel free to let me know if what you’re about to read is just as relevant today as it was 14 years ago when I didn’t know what to do to make love last past the first few dates. But back then when it safe to play the field, most of the women I met in the clubs reacted and acted as though they were only interested in a one-night stand. So I didn’t argue with them. Come morning, it didn’t matter if I didn’t have a clue about what to do next except maybe to thank her with the home-cooked meal I served her while she sat up in bed with a smile on a face now adorned with eyes full of surprise by my sincere act of kindness.

Learning to ask all the right questions before playing with a woman’s delicate heartstrings gifted my date and I with an equal opportunity to leave come morning with dignity and just as much mutual respect for each other as we had before we agreed to spend the night together. Understanding the rules of engagement up front meant nobody left feeling hurt or dealing with a bunch of unsettling questions like, “Will she think less of me and lose respect for me tomorrow for the sorrow I caused by not understanding what she expected of me come morning?

To this day, I still believe a real man will do all he can up front not to deliberately deceive any woman for any reason, at any time, under any and all circumstances to prevent the possibility of committing a non-violent crime of passion. To truly avoid any type of an unruly misunderstanding, be man enough to ask a few basic questions that will lay out the rules of engagement before deciding to play with another person’s feelings.

Can any of the men who’ve been raising a daddy’s girl long enough to know if God is punishing this Dad for all the fun he had before accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior by gifting me with a beautiful baby girl for me to protect from all the boys lining up outside? I hope not. If time permits, let me know what you think. Ladies, you’re always welcome to share your thoughts and feelings with men who still truly love and respect you. As always, the choice to do so is yours alone to make. May the peace of God be with each of you until the next time we meet.

HEART TO HEART

Contrary to popular belief, there are still great men who sincerely seek to understand a great woman’s feelings about love and romance. Are you a woman who’s stopped looking for a real man who knows how to show his appreciation for giving him a reason to dance? Thank you, in advance for opening up the lines of communication and talking heart to heart instead of giving me the hand while watching me go down in defeat. Before we begin our meeting of the minds, would it make you feel special if a real man cooked you dinner, rubbed your back, and gently massaged your feet?

Help me understand why you’ve lost hope and given up on men by allowing me to ask you a few questions to enlighten me in order to give your unmet needs an audible voice. Can you start by describing the spiritual, physical, and mental characteristics you seek in the man of your choice? Do you like strong, mysterious, and silent men or do you prefer articulate, mentally stimulating men whose provocative method of communication is more fulfilling? Come Sunday morning, do you want a real man whose spiritual growth and faith in God comes first or do you prefer to receive top billing?

Do you believe a real man will already understand that love is more than just a shallow feeling that depends on your emotional or sexual state of mind? Do you believe it’s easier for single women to make a long-term commitment to one man than it is for single men to stop leaving a growing trail of heart-broken women behind? Does your idea of a romantic evening start with a candlelit man who can stir your imagination as he satisfies your most intimate wishes? Do you prefer to end your romantic evening with a domesticated man strong enough to cook and help you wash all the dirty dishes?

Do you desire a king of a man who already realizes that inside every Queen of a woman will reside a compassionate pearl of a girl? Do you respect self-confident men who know they can deliver the goods but refuses to boast about bigger and better things to come just to make your head swirl? Hopefully, this isn’t the first time, nor will it be the last, that you meet a real man of character who’ll do more than promise to meet your every need. Besides, haven’t you had your fill of adolescent, immature boys disguised as grown men still so full of themselves that their egos are the first, last, and thing they constantly feed?

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