When Least Expected™

Am I Good Enough?

March 5th, 2007 at 07:15pm Manchild

Although I’m a man, there’s no shame in letting strangers know that I cried during and after watching Ms. Oprah Winfrey’s “Building A Dream: The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy” prime time television special re-aired on March 3, 2007. How many of you felt the power of God’s love as it inspired a living legend to honestly believe she could establish the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy For Girls? Clicking on the words, “Kudos To Ms. Oprah Winfrey” will unearth a previous post written to show my support for a noble deed divinely designed to meet an unmet need.

How many of you also saw an impoverished generation of great girls to whom little was given get rewarded for remaining faithful over the little they had? I sat on my couch and cried because I shared the pain these beautiful, optimistic, and enthusiastic young girls pushed past daily. I cried for all the innocent children who died for nothing simply because they tried to reach a safe place where somebody could teach them how to make dreams come true and achieve great things.

During my prolonged season of sunny-side-down days, I experienced how it felt to eat oatmeal or no meal for extended periods of time. No longer do I complain about the hunger I deliberately endure when I refuse to stop practicing my excellence and building my big dream long enough to slow my roll and eat. I’d rather deal with the pain in my belly than feel the sting from the slave master’s angry whip.

Hunger isn’t something I’d wish on my worst enemy. To this day, I have a hard time wasting any of the food I’m privileged to hold in my hands. That includes the bread ends from a store bought loaf of sliced bread which is my segue into today’s post. Although it’s been a few days since I first heard it, the courageous question that’s still resonating with my spirit was asked by a hope-filled young girl during her interview with Ms. Winfrey.

“AM I GOOD ENOUGH…?”

Now that you know this ain’t my real hair, my real nails, or the same face and figure God gave me, am I still good enough? Now that you know I live in the hood with lots of good people with big hearts and lots of love to give, am I good enough? Am I good enough to be your best friend just because or will you pretend to care about me because my parents have lot of money and material things? Am I good enough to be respected by you despite my inability to buy designer clothes or repair the holes in the soles of my hand-me-down-shoes?

Am I good enough to be your husband or will you kick me to the curb once you learn that I don’t have a six pack, don’t stand at least six feet tall in my bare feet, and don’t earn a six figure salary? Am I good enough to be the wife you’ll love, honor, respect, and protect for the rest of your life after I choose to birth your children and lose my curvaceous apple bottom and brick house figure?

Am I good enough to sit in the front of the bus or will I have to listen to you cuss me, call me a ni***er under your breath as you spit in my face since you still hate me because of the colour of my beautiful skin? Am I good enough to share the same lunch counter and eat my meal next to you or will you slap me in the face with the plate of hot food I dared to order despite the “white only” sign?

Am I good enough to drive my expensive car through an upscale neighborhood and stay alive long enough to see my family again once you see that the colour of my skin is darker that a brown paper bag? Am I good enough to live my life without fear after “Big Daddy Blue’s” trigger-happy street gangs of racist, white supremacists racially profile me as I pass by and try to kill me under color of law because they saw that I was only armed with a dangerous mind?

Am I good enough now that you know that I got fired for a crime my former employer knew I didn’t commit but lacked the personal integrity and strength of character to admit the truth about my actual innocence under oath? Am I good enough to work for you and your corporation despite the false arrest, false imprisonment, and false prosecution the executive management of my ex-employer executed during their lapse in judgment?

Am I good enough for you to meet me where I am and love me absent any conditions and treat me as though you know I’m too valuable to throw away even after I stumble badly and experience a great fall? Am I good enough for you to love me now that you know I was once too poor to pay attention and lived in a cardboard box too short to hide the holes in the last pair of socks I had because bad things really do happen to good people?

Am I good enough now that you can’t manipulate me, abuse me, or do me dirty because I’m much stronger and wiser than before when my deceived soul believed the lie you told and sold me? Am I good enough is no longer a question I need to ask now that I know nothing can ever separate my gifted soul from God’s eternal love.

If I’m not good enough for you, I will still choose to live my life for an audience of the most gracious and merciful One sitting high but looking low. So, feel free to go without me if you must because I know I can always trust God without any reservation. Besides, now that the Spirit of God resides deep within my invaluable soul, I no longer need your “attention,” “approval,” “acceptance,” or “affection” anymore.

— TO BE CONTINUED —

©Copyright 2007 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.

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Entry Filed under: All About Love, Education, Inspiration, Leadership, Self-Esteem, Social Justice