“Two Are Better Than One”
May 9th, 2007 at 11:37pm Manchild
Standing “beside” every good man is a wise woman whose love inspired him to become a great man during a crucial age and critical stage of his personal development. Please note that this wise woman is not standing behind, nor in front of, the inspired man whose life she is enhancing. Why?
Real men choose to treat women as equals. Real men refuse to abuse women. Real men refuse to relegate women to subservient positions. As a man, I know that I’m a much better person because of my wife, KWiz, and the plethora of wise, godly women who have contacted me and impacted my life over the years.
According to Ecclesiastes 4:8 NIV
8 There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
“and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!
God knew how much the first man, Adam, would need the assistance of a woman. As evidenced by Genesis 2:18,
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (emphasis added)
Can it be that the same rings true for a woman? How many of you honestly believe that it is also not good for a woman to be alone? How many times have you personally heard a woman say,
“I don’t need no man!! I can do bad all by myself?”
or
Men are nothing more than “sperm donors.”
How many of you have ever personally said that, thought that, or believed that to be true? What tragic, traumatic event happened to make you feel that you didn’t need a man? Do you still feel the same? If not, what happened to change your mind?
How many people in your circle of friends can you turn to, or can turn to you, in times of need? Who depends on you when they’ve fallen only to discover that they can’t rise to their feet absent the assistance of another? Have you ever been hospitalized because of a high risk pregnancy or incapacitated because of cancer, a long term illness, or a debilitating physical injury?
Did you have a faithful, reliable, trustworthy person standing by your side? If not, how did it make you feel to know you were all alone? After your recovery, what did you do to ensure that you would have the help you needed in the future? If yes, was the person you sought help from male or female? Did their gender make a difference or did it even matter as long as you received the help you needed?
So, what’s the significance, or the relevance of the person’s gender who’s helping to heal me? Our life experiences, both individually and collectively, do affect our perceptions and personal beliefs about the particular people we choose to trust, to love, to ask for help.
How difficult it must have been for Eve to risk exposing her weaknesses and vulnerabilities to Adam after he made her his scapegoat. How difficult has it been for you to dismantle, tear down, or break through the emotional walls your peers helped you to erect just to protect the deeply wounded soul of your broken heart from harm? Are those walls still standing? What will it take to inspire you to tear down these walls?
Do you ever wonder how Eve must have felt towards Adam after he “blamed” her for his lack of leadership, for his failure to protect her from the persuasive words of the “Original Down Low Brother,” for his deliberate act of disobedience? Do you think Eve could stand before Adam “naked and unashamed” as easily as she did before the fall? Reading Genesis 2, “The Creation Of Man And Woman,” will prepare you for our next discussion.
It’s difficult for a woman who been traumatized and victimized by a man to accept help from another man as evidenced by the previous statement
“I don’t need no man.”
It makes a difference if your Mom was the only person who took the time to teach you how to interact with men in professional settings, how to handle abusive, misogynistic men who sexually objectify women just for fun? If you grew up in a home without a “father figure,” how easy is it for you to turn to a man when you need help?
God willing, and if the creek don’t rise, we will begin digging deeper into the lives of the women in the Bible to see how they responded to God’s love, grace, and mercy. So, please feel free to invite your family, friends, and peers to join us and actively participate in the early stages of our developing discussion.
Hopefully, each of you will enjoy your personalized journey as we explore the individual lives of the 52 women who have been highlighted in the book, Women Of The Bible. This treasure chest disguised as a book was birthed by authors Ms. Ann Spangler and Ms. Jean E. Syswerda.
Any and all suggestions and comments are welcome and will be respected at all times. When all has been read, said, and done, it’s my prayer that women and men who hate to love each other will begin to realize just how much women and men really do need each other.
According to Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV
“9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Together, we can make a difference. Will you help? I hope so.
Copyright 2007 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
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Entry Filed under: All About Love, All About Women, Inspiration, Leadership, Male-Female Relationships, Wise Words, Women In Scripture
13 Comments Add your own
1. Anna | May 11th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
“Please note that this wise woman is not standing behind…” (It’s ironic, I just posted a quote in a comment for someone else that seems to fit in with your words today)
“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.” - Albert Camus (also attributed to Maimonidies)
Anna
2. Danielle | May 11th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
I think the word “need” has many negative connotations for women. I prefer to look at the interconnection between the sexes as enriching. A woman may not NEED a man in order to live but is enriched by them if they are open. Both sexes were designed to compliment each other.
You are lucky to have KWiz walking beside you as I am sure she is lucky to have you.
Have a great weekend.
3. joezul | May 11th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
When God made Eve out of Adam’s rib, all men since have a part of them missing. Only when men we’re together with women that they become complete.
Thanks for the post .
- joe
4. Franxbudi | May 12th, 2007 at 8:40 am
I think is good..two become one than one become two..Nice blog..
Cheers
Franx
5. Lincoln | May 13th, 2007 at 1:57 am
I was just thinking, this also doesn’t take into consideration Paul’s advice to his readers that they remain single as he was, since being single means you’re not distracted by the cares and duties of loving and honoring your spouse.
Fortunately though Paul says this is not a commandment, and relies on the assumption that such a person’s singleness is actually a gift from God, which would mean he or she would not be preoccupied with burning and yearning for companionship…. like I am.
6. Manchild | May 14th, 2007 at 9:45 am
Hello Anna,
Thank you, for taking the time to comment and share this quote. It’s always an honor whenever God blesses a man with a wise woman to stand by his side.
I will share the quote by Albert Camus during our May tribute to women.
7. Manchild | May 14th, 2007 at 10:02 am
Hello Danielle,
Thank you, for enlightening me by sharing your thoughts. I agree that a man and a woman in an intimate healthy relationship should compliment one another. How does it make a woman feel these days to hear a man tell her that he “needs” her?
Far too often, men and women “compete” against each other instead of mastering the art of working together for the good of the relationship. Interdependence, not co-dependence, is the goal we should all aspire to achieve in our relationships.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I do “need” KWiz in more ways than one. But that doesn’t mean that I would choose to end my life if my wife ever decided to “kick me to the curb.”
Thank you for the compliment. KWiz has truly been a blessing to me. My Queen has stood by my side through it all.
8. Manchild | May 14th, 2007 at 10:09 am
Hello Joezul,
Thank you, for leaving your comment.
It amazes me to see how much is accomplished when two imperfect people utilize their God-given talents, gifts, and strengths to cancel out each other’s many weaknesses.
Together, like-minded women and men can make a difference when we help one another to make our big dreams come true as we aspire to achieve great things with God’s help.
9. Manchild | May 14th, 2007 at 10:14 am
Hello Franx,
Thank you, for the compliment, comment, and cheers. My wife has definitely made my life much easier.
10. Manchild | May 14th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Hello Lincoln,
Your comment has inspired me to write a post. It’s my understanding that Paul was not “against” marriage, but recognized that being single had its own particular set of advantages.
I honestly believe that marriage is a ministry that can glorify God’s name by accomplishing what 2 single people may find next to impossible to achieve.
As evidenced by the Scripture, the other person was described as a “friend.” This leads me to believe that the “two” don’t always have to be husband and wife.
I’m always impressed to see how quickly the galvanized group of great people from the T.V. show, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, can erect beautiful homes in 7 days.
As you live your life, the woman God may be preparing to become your wife will appear in due season. God is also preparing you to become the great man your wife is looking for to compliment her life.
I didn’t like being single and remembered feeling the same way you did for many years. You’re right. Although I had more time to serve God unencumbered, I knew celibacy was not one of my gifts. I love being married.
Had I met my wife before God brought us together, our 6 year marriage would have failed to materialize or ended in divorce. Seven years ago, neither one of us were ready for the challenges of a marriage.
Trust God’s timing and infinite wisdom. You will not disappointed.
11. Emily | May 17th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
I “just happened” to find this when I was looking for things on breaking down emotional walls. Looking forward to reading more!
12. Manchild | May 21st, 2007 at 11:09 am
Hello Emily,
I’m glad you came and pleased to know that you’ve been inspired to come back. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.
13. BabsRN | July 4th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Unfortunately, most men in today’s society have chosen to make themselves irrelevent and frivolous burdens in the lives of women. Since we no longer rely on men to be our providers, the only thing left to rely on them for are love and companionship. However, in the vast majority of cases that appears to be too much to ask. Men seek to fill some void. This woman doesn’t believe that void should or could be filled by another person but only within oneself and within one’s faith in order to be able to share oneself with another individual in any kind of HEALTHY way. Therefore, no I do not NEED a man in my life. It would be nice if there were a good decent one who could be counted on but there is not and ultimately I do not believe that we are supposed to be so reliant on other mortals. Without the societal pressure to produce heirs and without the financial necessity of pairing and labor division that was so prevalent in biblical times and beyond, what’s the point? When men only add more stress to your life, why bother?
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