31
One Good Reason To Remain Objective
Posted by | Posted in African Proverbs, Christianity, Inspiration, Leadership, Male-Female Relationships, Wise Words | Posted on 31-05-2007
“Until the lions tell their tales, the story of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.”
African Proverb
The African proverb I quoted reminds me that we all have at least one good reason to remain objective. As evidenced by the lives of the 52 women Ms. Ann Spangler and Ms. Jean E. Syswerda chronicled in their insightful book, Women Of The Bible, there are always two sides to every story. Have you ever betrayed a man’s trust, lost a man’s respect, or broke a good man’s heart? Has he forgiven you? Have you forgiven yourself?
What did you learn this month about yourself? Who was the woman, or women, that you closely identified with because her story, her struggle, her great weakness reminded you of your walk with God? Did any of the 52 women you read about this month give you hope? Why? Do you know any men who give you hope, who love, honor, and respect you, who make you feel safe and secure?
How many women in our community have ever seen any of the men in your lives cry uncontrollably or watched a broken man die a slow, spiritual death because of another woman’s heart-breaking behavior? Do you lose respect for men who cry or do you respect men more because they would rather cry than die high?
Do you honestly believe that strong men never cry or that men who trust you enough to reveal their vulnerabilities, to expose their weaknesses, to express their deepest fears, to display their emotions by crying in your presence are wimps? Do you find yourself gravitating towards the strong, silent type because that the type of man your mother married?
Are you a woman who prefers to date abusive, unpredictable bad boys because you’re secretly addicted to the adrenaline rush their traumatic, dramatic behavior creates? Do you avoid good men because you can’t stand the boredom and predictability of dating nice men, emotionally connected, financially stable men who never give good women a reason to break up just to make up?
Hunters hurt. Yes, it’s true. Real men receive reality checks we aren’t always prepared to cash. Strong men struggle. Silence is not always a sign of strength. Wise men weep. Weeping is not always a sign of weakness. Even Jesus wept. The example of Christ’s leadership gives nice men who always appear to finish last hope.
To give the men in our lives hope, the month of June is being dedicated to men and the issues relevant to us and our relationships with our wives and the women in our lives. It’s my heart-felt prayer that next month’s series about men will also give the women who often hate to love us hope.
God willing, the critically thinking women we choose to love, honor, and respect will join us and pray for us as we take an objective look at what makes good men cry, become bad boys, and go awry.
Although, there may be a valid reason why good men snap and become bad boys who misbehave and behave badly, nothing a woman does ever justifies our sexist, abusive, misogynistic behavior. There’s absolutely no excuse good enough to justify the reasons why women still don’t feel safe and secure in our presence.
Copyright 2007 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
Hi Manchild;
“Do you lose respect for men who cry or do you respect men more because they would rather cry than die high?”
Men have been taught from an early age to ‘be strong; to act like a man and stifle the tears; to virtually ignore their emotional side; - and women are as much responsible for that as anyone for planting the seed that it is not okay for a man to cry. In doing so women have taught their male children to bottle up their emotions and hide them securely away so we don’t have to deal with it. Most women wouldn’t even know how to react if a man were to break down and cry in front of her. So much for our nurturing side, huh.
Men who cry aren’t weak - they’re human, just like the rest of us!
Take care;
Anna
Thank you, Anna for those honest, liberating words of encouragement, for letting men know that it’s okay to act human, to feel fear, to hurt, to cry in front of a woman, to admit that we don’t know what we’re doing or where we’re going.
For a long time, I was afraid to embrace another man, to cry in front of another man, to admit that I was scared. Like many men, I pretended to have it all together. But I didn’t and still don’t.
For untold generations, the indoctrination we, as men, received from our fathers severely hindered our ability to empathize with each other, to truly love the women in our lives.
It’s my prayer that more women will join us this month, share your wise words, and teach us how to love you better as we struggle to be better husbands, fathers, friends.
Pray for us. Help us. We need all the help we can get from the women God has graciously gifted to each of us.