Posts filed under 'The 8th Habit'
Last year, my wife, KWiz, and I watched the movie “Freedom Writers.” This year, we watched “The Great Debaters.” Both are unforgettable films. If you’re an aspiring writer who needs a reason to finish writing your book, please don’t wait to see either of these films. Both are amazing examples of the art of story-telling.
It’s true! Everybody has a story to tell. Some of you are extremely talented, gifted writers who can effortlessly employ the power of the written word to tell your stories. For me, writing is a struggle, which is why I started blogging last year. Have you ever wondered if there’s some secret formula or writing technique that will make one book sell better than another?
Can “talent alone” ensure the success of the books that authors allegedly choose to write? Who or what enables prolific writers to repeat the meticulous process behind the creative chaos that made your book a success? Does the timing of a book’s release play a significant part in its author’s ability to emotionally connect with one generation and not another? Do you believe that book sales, or the lack thereof, are an accurate indication of the perceived success or the failure of a book?
According to prolific author Paulo Coelho’s profile, “Slow initial sales [of The Alchemist] convinced his first publisher to drop the novel, but it went on to become one of the best selling Brazilian books of all time.
Have any of you ever pondered the possibility that the part you played did little to determine the success of your book? Did God’s sovereign will and perfect plan have anything to do with the success of your book? If yes, does it really matter whether or not an author chooses to employ “urban street teams” or “main stream” marketeers to promote a book that’s destined to become a national best seller? As writers, what part do we play in the books we author?
Do books choose their writers or do writers choose the books they pen? I had no desire to write a book before I began to pen Steppin’ Out Of The Darkness. I believe the book that I birthed chose me. I can still recall waking up in the middle of the night to write the first page of my big dream. Once I began writing it, I couldn’t stop. Whenever I felt inspired to write, I didn’t sleep much. I didn’t eat. I didn’t talk. Since I didn’t have anything to distract me, I just wrote. I constantly canceled or rescheduled appointments until the words stopped flowing from somewhere deep within the heart of my soul.
Am I crazy or has this ever happened to any of you? What did you do initially? Did you look around the room to see if you were all alone? Did you ignore the words you heard or did you heed the still, small voice that inspired you to believe that you could achieve something bigger than yourself? Did people laugh at you, ridicule you, and reject you when they heard about the genesis of your big dream? My mother and my wife stood by me at a time when I needed their love and support the most.
Writing Steppin’ Out Of The Darkness was an act of faith for me. I wrote on anything and everything I could get my hands on as evidenced by all the cardboard boxes still stuffed with the hastily scribbled notes that I stockpiled over the years. During those difficult days when I had no place to lay my head, I didn’t have time to feel sorry for myself. For reasons that still escape me, I refused to give up after the fall I survived.
Nevertheless, trusting God when nothing made sense wasn’t easy. To challenge myself to keep getting up and showing up for my street fight with Adversity, I started writing poetic essays. Writing literally saved my life after my business failed and I was forced to file bankruptcy. Because of the vision that God gifted to me, I had a plan that I could believe in. God’s unchanging love gave me hope during my darkest days. It’s true! Without a vision, people with no reason to hope will perish.
For reasons now known, “But by grace still go I” is not just some empty Christian phrase that I casually toss around to sound spiritual. If you’re a published writer, did your book choose you or did you choose your book? I hope this post has encouraged somebody to rise to your feet and inspired you to honestly believe that you can beat impossible odds with God’s help. If so, please let me know.
Copyright (c) 2008 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
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January 14th, 2008
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To the humble, courageous, “great” ones among us who exemplify how leadership is a choice, not a position.
– Stephen R. Covey
“We’ve Come This Far By Faith,” was one of the Gospel song selections the church choir sang during my uncle’s homecoming celebration last Friday. The soul-stirring words of this song bolstered my honest belief that getting up and showing up daily to engage all who actively participate in the spiritual chess game of life is an act of faith.
Only God truly knows what tomorrow will bring. Do you? Only God knows when Adversity will strike. Do you? Only God knows what the future will hold. Do you? I don’t. For me, trusting God is not an option. After failing and falling flat on my face, trusting God is an act of faith. Must one be “humbled” before one can be “humble?”
Although God has humbled me, am I humble? Some have accused me of being arrogant to believe that I could pen a book and be successful doing so. Am I arrogant because I choose to believe ordinary, everyday people can achieve great things with God’s help? Am I arrogant for believing in myself when nobody else does?
Do humble people dream big dreams? Do humble people believe they can make big dreams come true and achieve greatness with God’s help? When one dares to dream dreams as big as the ones I’ve dreamed, my mentors helped my humbled soul to realize that it’s not wise to lean upon my own limited understanding. Who, or what, has humbled you?
Watching the leadership of the great men in my life over the years has taught me that leadership is a choice one makes by faith. One can assume a “position” of leadership but if nobody is following you, are you qualified to be referred to as a leader?
“We’ve come this far by faith” is the message that kept resonating deep within my soul while driving back to Atlanta this weekend. These inspiring words also confirmed the following quote from my pending release of my book, Steppin’ Out Of The Darkness. The Prologue, “Always Expect The Unexpected Parts 1 - 4,” to this introspective story about personal leadership has been posted
“It is by choice that great people like you with great weaknesses like ours believe, by faith, that we can beat impossible odds and achieve great things with God’s help.”
–Roderick O. Solomon
Yes, it’s true. For those of who noticed, I’ve changed the title of my book from When Least Expected. Doing so was both an act of faith and an act of obedience. I’m trusting God with the consequences of my obedience.
Watching the leadership of my Uncle Bay over the years has taught me that strong men are humble men who understand that meekness is not a sign of weakness. Humility is not a sign of weakness. Strong men cry when we see the people we love hurting. Meekness is “power under control.”
“The joy of the Lord is my strength. When I’m weak, He is strong.”
I don’t know about you but the Scriptures remind me of the reasons why I need Jesus Christ to do what only He can — the impossible. When one dares to beat impossible odds, you realize just how much you need God’s help. It is the example of Christ’s leadership that I choose to follow by faith.
Writing a book is definitely an act of faith. Only God knows what will happen next. Nevertheless, I trust God to do what’s best for me and my family. Do you?
“We’ve come this far by faith…”
Copyright 2007 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
Popularity: 23% [?]
July 9th, 2007
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As promised yesterday, we will continue our discussion from Chapter 4 of The 8th Habit by Mr. Steven Covey. What choices have you made when the people you loved and trusted did you dirty, took unfair advantage of you while trapped beneath an adverse set of unduly burdensome circumstances? How did you respond when your peers kicked you in the face when you were already lying face down on the ground?
I cringed while watching video-taped footage exposing the barbaric behavior of teen-aged students beating down other defenseless students unmercifully just to make a video. Supposedly, widely publicized “beat downs” of weaker, out numbered students will earn these “school yard bullies” the attention, approval, acceptance, and affection of their peers. Where did our little angels learn that this type of pugilistic behavior and when did our children begin to believe that random acts of violence targeted at another human being was socially acceptable?
According to The 8th Habit, children who are misbehaving and behaving badly can learn to make better choices by lengthening the space between their responses to outside stimuli. Just because another child hits you doesn’t mean you have to hit back unless self-defense is the only way you can save your own life. Matters not where you’ve come from or what you’ve done in the past. Your courageous response to the bad behavior of others who are choosing to misbehave and behave badly can change by understanding how to widen the gap between outside stimuli and your response to it.
But what about grown folk who appear to be set in their ways? Can they also learn how to make better choices by widening their gaps? Can a person be too young, or too old, to increase their response times between what happened to them and how they choose to respond when Adversity strikes?
According to Mr. Covey,
“With many who have grown up with unconditional love in supportive circumstances, the space may be very large. With others, due to various genetic and environmental influences, it may be very small. But the key point is, there is still a space there and it is in the use of that space that the opportunity to enlarge it exists.”
So what’s the bottom line? How can great people with great weaknesses widen their gaps so we can choose the battles we fight and the paths we walk wisely? The answer is a simple one. Our most gracious and merciful Father gave each of His children free will. God gifted each of us with the freedom to choose how we respond to whatever happens during the course of our daily lives. But how can I exercise my free will during such a violent season as this? Here are a few examples of what you can do to exercise your free will once you leave here today.
Be proactive. Ask God to gift you with the wisdom and understanding you need to make wise choices “before” you need it. Know thyself. How wide is your gap? Are you easily manipulated by carefully crafted messages deliberately designed to anger you and cause you to lose control of your own thoughts and emotions? You will always remain a slave to the person who can control, or master, your thoughts and emotions. Think about it.
Only those of us who have failed to master our thoughts and emotions will remain a slave to our impulses and natural cravings as discussed in the previous post, “Scarcity, Abundance, and Slave Mentalities.” Ever wonder why one person has a tendency to make bad, fear-based decisions while another, given the same, or similar, set of adverse circumstances tends to make good, faith-based decisions? Whose gap do you think is wider? How wide do you think your gap is based upon what happened to you yesterday, last week, last month?
Don’t wait until Sunday, or the next time Adversity strikes, before you decide to have a quiet talk with our Father in your secret place. It may sound old fashioned, but “counting to 10″ forces you to “think” before you speak, before you retaliate, before your emotions compel you to do something “stupid.” Prayer works. Grandma always said, “Sleep on it,” before making important decisions. Seek wise counsel. Don’t ask a “hot head” how to remain cool, calm, and collected under pressure if wise counsel is what you’re seeking.
Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Mahatma Gandhi, and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. are three legendary, classic examples of iconic people who made wise choices when it wasn’t popular, safe, or profitable to do so. What gave them the inner strength of character, the confidence, and the courage they needed to do what was best for the greater good of all? Given the same, or similar, set of adverse circumstances they faced, how would you respond during such a troubled time as this?
How do you choose to respond when verbally vilified or violently assaulted by our antagonistic enemies? Unhappy people don’t like to see other people happy. Misery will compel good people to harm us with words from their mouths when bad things happen to them. Jesus Christ gave us all hope that we can learn how to widen our gaps if we choose to do so. As evidenced by my initial reaction to mere words written on pieces of paper, my gap is still not wide enough. Now that you’ve talked to God about it, slept on it, sought the advice of wise counsel, and given it some thought, how wide is your gap?
Based upon the example of the leadership Jesus Christ displayed before, during, and after His crucifixion and resurrection, His gap is wider than any human being I’ve ever known. I know I still need to master my thoughts and emotions. Do you? I still need to exercise my free will until my gap grows wide enough to empower me with the “emotional intelligence” to choose my battles wisely. Do you? (God willing, we’ll discuss emotional intelligence next week.)
All is not well with the heart of humanity’s soul as evidenced by the growing number of violent crimes against humanity. No longer can we afford to ignore the warning signs that something is terribly wrong with the state of the human condition. Misery still loves company. No longer can any of us remain afraid to ask our children the tough questions that are relevant for tough times and tough people who simply may not know any better. Can we lead by example by helping each other to widen our gaps? Can we agree to work together in peace while we learn how to change the way we choose to respond whenever Adversity strikes? I hope so.
© Copyright 2007 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
Popularity: 9% [?]
March 23rd, 2007
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As promised, here’s my latest contribution to our study group as we explore the contents of The 8th Habit. Any questions or comments are highly valued and deeply appreciated. We all have so much to learn from each other. Over the years, the more I learned, the more I realized just how much I still didn’t know. Humbling isn’t it? People who love to read and read to learn are seldom bored. Do you feel the same way?
Have you, or somebody you know, ever been described as a person with a “short fuse,” or a person who’s “easily offended,” “emotionally volatile,” or “trigger happy”? Is it easy for another person to “push your buttons” because you wear your emotions on your sleeves? Do you become defensive, sarcastic, or self-deprecating when critiqued or criticized by your peers? Does hearing the truth make you angry? If so, relax. There’s hope.
In Chapter 4, “Discovering Your Voice — Unopened Gifts” of The 8th Habit, Mr. Covey discusses how every person has the freedom to choose our response to whatever happens to us. Matters not the colour of one’s skin. Notice what I didn’t say. We may not always have the freedom to choose what happens to us because “life ain’t fair.” Nevertheless, we do have the freedom to choose how we respond when life ain’t fair.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness.”
Apparently, According to Mr. Covey, there are mitigating factors that determine the width of this space. This space, or gap, symbolizes the response time “between” what happens to us and how we choose to respond to what’s going on in our lives. According to The 8th Habit, some of the mitigating factors listed that largely determines the size of this space include
“…our genetics or biological inheritance and…our upbringing and present circumstances.”
Initially, I had a problem with that particular statement. Obviously my gap wasn’t wide enough to allow the time I needed to not become a slave to my emotions. Instead of remaining offended, over reacting to words written on pieces of papers, and throwing away an insightful book, I decided to keep reading. In other words, I didn’t “throw the baby out with the bathwater.” I’m glad I didn’t. I learned something new.
Digging deeper into the provocative material Mr. Covey presented confirmed what I needed to see to give hope to people who may feel hopelessly chained to a slave mentality. What I read explain why two children birthed from the same womb, exposed to the same dysfunctional behavior, facing the same set of challenges will not respond the same way despite being given the same set of unduly burdensome circumstances.
“This power of choice means that we are not merely a product of our pasts or of our genes; we are not a product of how other people treat us. They unquestionably influence us, but they do not determine us. We are self-determining through our choices. If we have given away our present to the past, do we need to give away our future also?”
My immediate answer is “NO!” What’s your immediate response to this particular question?
Have you already given away your future by refusing to choose the battles you fight and the paths you walk wisely? I hope not. But if you have, fear not. All is not lost. You can learn how to “widen your gap.” You can change your response to what’s happening to you and around you. As always the choice to “choose your battles wisely” is still yours alone to make. So don’t lose hope, give up, self-destruct, and choose to keep doing what you’ve been doing before you read tomorrow’s message. God willing, I’ll see you tomorrow.
© Copyright 2007 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
Popularity: 10% [?]
March 22nd, 2007
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“Paradigm is a word too often used by those who would like to have a new idea but cannot think of one.”
Mervyn Allister King, then-Deputy Governor, Bank of England
When you want to make a difference, where do you get your ideas? When you aspire to inspire an entire generation of great people like us with great weaknesses like ours, where do you get your ideas? When you want to exchange “bad habits” for some “good habits,” where do you get your ideas? When your heart-felt desire is to inspire all God’s children to face their deepest fears and embrace Change, where do you get your ideas? Thanks to Cyberspace, no longer does one person need to do come up with all the brilliant ideas alone. Now that we’re much older and wiser than before, why try?
Personally, I get many of my ideas during my quiet talks with God while in my secret place on bended knee. I also get inspired by “the power of a wise woman’s words.” Wisdom is just one of the voices I listen to when experiencing writer’s block. Ladies, it may surprise you to discover that all the God-fearing men you meet when you show up here honestly believe that “a woman is a man’s most valuable resource.”
The great men you meet when you visit will treat great women like you with the honor and respect each of you deserves. God willing, you will learn to trust and respect us. Only then will you feel safe and secure enough to give and receive a love worth sharing. Besides, great women like you are supposed to feel loved, respected, and protected in the presence of great men. Ladies, please share your ideas. and teach us how to be better men, wiser men, better husbands, better lovers, better friends, better listeners, better daddies, better uncles, better brothers, better cousins, better leaders, better teachers, better role models, better mentors. Did I miss anything?
The world is desperately crying out for new leadership with fresh ideas to replace the recycled ones that have long outlived their effectiveness. The world desperately needs critical thinkers who aren’t afraid to take a stand and speak truth to power in the spirit of God’s love, never hate. I’m not so macho that I refuse to admit that I love each of you and need all of you to survive. I made a personal promise not to harm any of you with words from my mouth. Why? Because I’m not the only one who loves you and needs you to survive. So we, as flawed human beings, need each other more than we’re ready and willing to admit. Why?
Learning to love our neighbors as ourselves makes us all accountable to each other, but not in a co-dependent manner. Co-dependency will only hinder our God-given ability to make big dreams come true as we “challenge” one another to achieve great things in 2007. If you smoke, we’ll challenge you to quit while you can. If you’re hopelessly hooked to one of Pleasure’s addictive treasure, we’ll see to it that you receive the help you need.
Developing healthy, intimate relationships will challenge you to “begin within so you won’t have to do without.” You’re less likely to become hopelessly chained to the slave mentality of co-dependent behavior if you honestly believe that God Rules Everything Around Me. Interdependence, not co-dependence, is one of the essential leaderships qualities we hope to attain before this unpredictable “year of firsts” succumbs to 2008.
Where do you go to get your ideas when you need to inspire yourself to become bold and courageous enough to live your life for an audience of One? No longer will you need your peers’ attention, approval, acceptance, and affection before you know deep down inside the heart of your gifted soul the answer to the question, “Am I Good Enough?” If you don’t mind me asking, where did you get the idea that you weren’t good enough? Who told you that you weren’t good enough? Since you didn’t get that idea from God, consider the source and act accordingly.
Hopefully, you will begin to honestly believe that your gifted soul is divinely destined to achieve Greatness with God’s help. Did you imagine any brilliant ideas during our discussion today that you’d like to pursue? I hope so. If time permits, please share a few of your new ideas with the rest of our team.
Before we close, I need to tie up a few loose ends. I initiated an informal study group that centers around the insightful, profound, and provocative content of the book, The 8th Habit, “From Effectiveness To Greatness,” by Mr. Stephen Covey. This site is not monetized. I don’t desire to do so. In order to support my efforts, you can purchase The 8th Habit, or The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, or any of the many books featured on this site via my “Book Store” link located in the Side Bar of my Home page.
Successfully completing all the tasks required to publish my first reality based novel is priority number one for right now. I hope you understand. Delayed but not denied. So, please don’t abandon ship because you think I’ve discontinued our ever-evolving 8th Habit study group. Hopefully, you’ll keep reading and pondering the contents of Mr. Covey’s book until we can finish what we started together.
For the person who “tagged me” to share the 5 reasons why I blog, I haven’t forgotten. If any of our newest members would like to catch up, clicking “day 1″ will return you to day 1 of January’s calendar. Doing so will help you understand why this particular blog exists and what we’re attempting to accomplish by December 31, 2007.
Until we meet again, may the peace of God be with you and yours.
©Copyright 2007 by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
Popularity: 13% [?]
March 17th, 2007
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In an earlier post, I posed the thought-provoking question, “When Does Knowledge Become Powerful?” Here’s one reason why I suggested that knowledge is not power.
“Theory Without Practice Is Powerless.”
May this brief quote continue to challenge each of us to shift our paradigm about a popular phrase that we’ve heard systematically propagated and charismatically articulated by powerful, persuasive people in prominent positions of influence until we honestly believed it. Click on the word, paradigm, to view various definitions and explanations about this term. Our generational, traditional beliefs may or may not be totally true. The truth that makes people free when mixed with the lie that enslaves free people becomes a “true lie.” What is the true lie that’s still hindering our God-given ability to overcome the persuasive power of our slave mentality? Think about it.
A true lie contains just enough truth for it to appear to become believable. Nevertheless, upon first glance, looks can be deceiving. A true lie became the persuasive tool the “original down low brother” employed to deceive Adam’s most valuable resource, Eve, until both began to doubt the veracity of God’s infallible word. The father of lies also used the power of persuasion to set the perpetual force of yet another true lie in motion that separated generations of women and men who hated to love each other for more than one night. Think about it.
It’s my honest belief that the “deceitful prince of darkness” still appears to all God’s children as a “beautiful angel of light.” What do you believe? According to the great fall of the first family as recorded in Chapter 3 of Genesis, it was Adam’s responsibility, not Eve’s, to obey God’s word. Click on the highlighted word “Genesis” for another insightful person’s perspective that amply illustrates the eternal consequences of our “choices.” As evidenced by the first family’s defiant act of disobedience, Adam’s lack of leadership skills and Eve’s unwise choice made both vulnerable to the persuasive power of a true lie that fed their slave mentality. After your great fall, what true lie did you hear that birthed your deepest fear during all those “dark days and lonely nights when all appears lost?” As you now know, looks can be deceiving.
Quick question before we close this meeting of our critically thinking minds today. What’s the difference, if any, between a “first impression” and a “prejudicial presumption” based upon a false belief? I suggest that there is no discernible difference. Why? Minus the persuasive empirical evidence needed to verify the veracity of our hasty judgments, neither can accurately determine the content or the strength of one’s character. Do you agree or disagree? Think about it.
In the meantime, challenge yourself to take a closer look at the truth that can make great people like us with great weaknesses like ours free from the persuasive power of our self-defeating slave mentalities. Can it be that yet another true lie is responsible for driving the wedge that emotionally divided the blended, extended family members of humanity’s culturally diverse global village from within instead of from without? Think about it. Test your faith in what you believe is the truth by practicing the theory that God’s perfect love will empower your insightful soul to overcome your deepest fears long enough to conquer the persuasive power of hate.
Oh! Before you leave, make sure you know what your deepest fears are so no persuasive person can deceive you today. If time permits, let me know if you agree, or disagree, with the content of today’s post. May the peace of God be with each of you today as you reach out and teach someone how to fish for a lifetime instead of just giving away a fresh fish everyday.
Copyright © by Roderick O. Solomon. All Rights Reserved.
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